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Saturday, 08 November 2003

The Einstein Quiz

Einstein said that 98% if people in the world cannot solve the puzzle, and he was right! (Einstein was usually right, that’s why he’s Einstein). Now don’t cheat and try to look up the answer on the web because most solutions on the web are incorrect. I will post my answer in the ‘Comments’ section in a few days, once most of you have either put down an answer, had a guess, or posted a comment saying you can’t do it (not just bigblue). If I can do it, so can you. Here’s the Einstein Quiz :

Facts:
1: There are 5 houses in 5 different colours.
2: In each house lives a person with a different nationality.
3: These 5 owners drink a certain beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.
4: No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar or drink the same drink.
5: Specific relationships and facts:

1: The Brit lives in a red house.
2: The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3: The Dane drinks tea.
4: The green house is to the left of the white house.
5: The owner of the green house drinks coffee.
6: The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7: The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8: The man living in the house right in the centre drinks milk.
9: The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Bland lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11: The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12: The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13: The German smokes Prince.
14: The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15: The man who smokes Blend has a neighbour who drinks water.

Question:
. . . Who keeps fish?

****************

I’ve been fairly quiet the past few days; been very busy. Tomorrow is a Cabaret rehersal from 10am to 4pm, but I’ll be arriving late as I’m singing at Church from 09:30 to 10:20.

The Golden Girls Corner
As I mentioned before, LivingTV is showing Season 1 of The Golden Girls at present, and this morning the two episodes were:
1.) “Guess Who’s Coming To The Wedding” - the one where Dorothy’s daughter’s getting married, and Dorothy has to invite her ex-husband Stan, and she has a bit of trouble coping with this (Dorothy: I’m not the one who married someone half my age and twice my bra size!).
2.) “Rose the Prude” - the one where Rose dates the first man after her beloved husband Charlie, who died 15years previously (Blanche is very shocked, lol: Dorothy [to Blanche]: Why, how long did you wait to have sex after George died?
Sophia: Till the paramedics came!), and that episode saw the first ever kiss on the show, between Rose and her boyfriend, Arnie Peterson! Even though Blanche was the slut of the show, over at Sam’s forums we decided that Rose received the most on-screen kissing time, and this morning was no exception!

Tomorrow, LivingTV should be showing the episodes “Transplant” (where Blanche’s sister, Virginia, comes to visit asking for Blanche’s kidney) and “The Triangle” (Dorothy’s dating a doctor who makes a pass at Blanche. Unless I’m mistaken, the ever so innocent and naive Rose does this cute little flitry thing with the doctor to get him to tell the truth - but more about that tomorrow!).
***
Here’s some quotes for today. I really like these ones because it shows the mother-daughter relationship between Sophia and Dorothy. I think the reason a lot of older people like the show is that Sophia can still put down her grown-up daughter, or tell her to stop being mean to someone she’s being mean to. I bet a lot of old women/men who live with their grown-up children would love to be able to stand up to their children, but fell unable to. Estelle describes Sophia as “the bully who bullies the bully (Dorothy)”. Anyway, here they are:

Dorothy: Four women live in this house. The toilet seat never has to move. You always manage to make it bang.
Sophia: Forgive me, sweetheart. Why don’t you just get me a litterbox to keep next to my nightstand.

[Dorothy is writing a letter to her late father]
Dorothy: I just thought Pop didn’t like me, like he didn’t love me.
Sophia: He loved you, in fact he said: ‘Anyone would want a daughter like this’... Of course he was saying it to the gypsies.
Dorothy: Do you have any idea how much that hurts me when you say things like that?
Sophia: No. After I’m dead, drop me a note.

Sophia: Who’s this?
Rose: Holly, this is �
Holly: Oh, wait now Rose, let me. She’s feisty, zesty, and full of Old World charm: Sophia.
Sophia: She’s mopy, dopy, and full of crap: Rose’s sister.

Dorothy: Well, I can understand that. I mean, women like me don’t grow on trees.
Sophia: Too bad. We could use the shade!

And just a great Sophia moment that I love…
Sophia: We were all put on this planet for a purpose. Blanche, you’re here to work in a museum, so that art can be appreciated by humanity. Dorothy, you’re here as a substitute teacher to educate our youth. And Rose—you’re here because the rhythm method was very popular in the twenties!

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Wednesday, 05 November 2003

Merde!

Re: the title. “Merde!” is what you say to someone if they’re going on stage. It is, if you like, the alternative to “break a leg”. However, as some of you may know, it is also what you say if you stub your toe in a French lesson.

I’ve been told (by someone whoshallremainnamelessChailey) that my blogs are very boring. So, to spice it up, as it were, I’m going to have an extra-long Golden Girls Corner today, with exerpts from both Estelle’s and Betty’s books, and with quotes from the show, of course. Hmm.

The Golden Girls Corner
Here is a little story told by Betty White in her book Betty White: In Person, about Bea Arthur cracking up in a particular rehersal:
Now you’d expect an idiot like me to have this weakness…and, God knows I do. But the least likely person in the world, with all her wonderful professionalism, I have seen turn into a mess before my very eyes…my tall friend Beatrice Arthur.

It doesn’t happen often…maybe three or four times in the past two seasons. There are no warning signals, and no sound…but you know you are in trouble when you throw Bea a cue and get no answer. You turn and find that she is beet red, with tears streaming down her face, and she is going through these paroxysms, but making no noise whatever…just helpless little gestures with her hands.

Of course, it is contagious and spreads like wildfire through the cast. We finally pull ourselves together to go on with the scene…but the damage has been done. From then on…(we reherse for a week before taping)...every single time we get to that spot in the script, Bea is gone. It happens all over again, each time, and she is helpless…this controlled, dignified, consumate actress! By the time we get to the actual taping, she manages to get through…but there is absolutely no eye contact between any of us until we are past the danger zone.

What starts it? Who knows what strikes a funny bone with anybody? One time it was a line in the script that hit Bea funny. The plot was: Sophia was accepting an award. We were all at the banquet where Don Johnson was to appear. He couldn’t make it…but they introduced his clothes!! That may not do it for you, but Bea collapsed every time.

What makes it so marvellous in her case is that normally Bea is not a laugher. She may enjoy a joke with a smile, maybe a small chuckle…she is more likely to react to a funny remark with a deadpan stare. It’s just such fun to see her fall apart! Rue said that once when they were taping “Maude” they finally shut down for the afternoon and sent everybody home…they simply couldn’t straighten up

And a shorter quote from Estelle Getty’s book, If I Knew Then What I Know Now…So What? on size:
You know the tags that say “One Size Fits All”? I’d like to take a big red marker pen and write “Like Hell!” on every one of those tags.

And our quote for today is a Rose. We haven’t had much Rose, but she’s a great gal, so here goes:
Rose: You know what I do when I need a shot of self esteem?
Blanche: Yeah, you put on that dopey ‘It’s Okay To Be Me’ sweatshirt, go lock yourself in the bathroom and then like a moron kiss yourself silly in the mirror!
Rose: Then I guess I’ll be back in there tonight!

A great thing about The Golden Girls is how the jokes are so timeless, especially about some particular celebrities. One stands out in particular:
Dorothy: No one looks good after surgery.
Sophia: Tell that to Cher!

Estelle actually worked with Cher in the movie Mask, and there is a very funny part of her book about her experiences. But that is a story for another time…

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Tuesday, 04 November 2003

Walnuts [le soir*]

* Note how I’ve got Mark’s kitch French thing going here. How cool does it make me?!

Had a nice history lesson today where we did lots of stuff. Our last lesson that we had before half term we drew walnuts, because of some thing to do with the Truman Doctrine and Marshall Aid. So this lesson we got walnuts. Needless to say, it was the highlight of my day, but then again I have no life.

Only arrived home at 18:30 because I had rehersal and then a sax lesson. Both went quite well, but I’m knackered.

Quite a funny Hungarian joke: Two Russians are working in a field, the one’s digging a hole and the other one’s filling it in with soil. So the Hungarian goes up to them and says “why are you doing that; it’s a bit pointless, isn’t it?” To which the Russians reply: “Well, Demitri normally works with us, and he puts the tree in.”
I thought it was good, anyway.

The Golden Girls Corner!
Have come up with a name for our favourite little section of the blogs, as you can see!

So, as usual, here’s some quotes to tickle our funnybones:
                  *************
Blanche: Tell me something, girls. Am I competent in what I do?
Rose: Based on the sounds from your bedroom, I’d say you’re damn near spectacular!
                  *************
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche. This is coming from a woman whose bumper sticker says:“So many Men, So little time.”
                  *************
Dorothy: I’d kill Gloria if she wrote a book about my sexual life.
Sophia: You’d kill your sister over a pamphlet?
Dorothy: Shut up Ma!
                  *************

One of my favourite Golden Girls episodes is called ‘The Competition’. Basically, it’s about the girls pairing up and entering a bowling competition, one pair against the other. It’s a Season 1 episode, with some classic lines. LivingTV will be showing it in the next few weekends, so I can share a bit more of the plot, and some quotes, with you all.

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More Sex in Retirement Homes! [demain]

I’m at home briefly after a consultation, so I decided to use my time wisely and do some homework. Yeees, that’s right, I’m doing homework...

I mentioned a few days ago that I was asked to play sax in assembly for this week along with the sax group. Yesterday we in fact played Cantaloupe Island (you know: da-da nk da-da-da), and this morning we played Caravan by Duke Ellington. Both went well, but everyone was laughing at me afterwards because I look so small compared to the other members of the group. Hey! Small people are cuter… wink

Golden Girls
Another great Sophia for you:

Blanche: Gee Dorothy, are you sure you can handle all that studying?
Dorothy: Oh sure, in college I used to pull all-nighters all the time.
Blanche: Wow, that sounds hard. Thank God I was pretty.
Dorothy: Yeah, well, at least all that studying payed off.
Sophia: Please, you got knocked up in high school.
Dorothy: Ma, I’m 60 years old. Why do you keep bringing this up?!
Sophia: So it won’t happen again!

This reminds me of a part in Estelle’s book where she says that she doesn’t know what people find iffy about sex in retirement homes: “It’s not as though anyone’s going to get pregnant!”

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Monday, 03 November 2003

Ach, nein…

Arrived home to find far more homework than I expected. I was also set my maths Statistics Coursework, which is a bit of a bummer, as I have no idea what to do! There’s so much data to sort through, and to be honest, I can’t really be bothered to do it, but I have to. So I need to make a start on that, as well as doing some French homework (which I’ve almost completed) and some Biology homework that I’d completely forgotten about, and English - I have to write a poem. And then there’s R.E. - all due for tomorrow. So why am I sitting here writing this?!

Had rehersals until 17:45. Don’t ask.

The Golden Girls
I re-read Estelle Getty’s (Sophia) book. So here are a few great Sophia come-backs for you…

Sophia: I found my lucky handkerchief.
Rose:Where was it?
Sophia: It was in my bra.
Rose: What was it doing in your bra?
Sophia: I was blowing my breasts, Rose!

Sophia: My hiney’s asleep.
Dorothy: Fine, we’ll keep our voices down.

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Sunday, 02 November 2003

My New Blog

Today I got a new blog. This is it.

At the moment I’m doing a World AIDS Day campaign for school. I was in touch with a guy from the Terrence Higgins Trust who promised me campaign info, but he never sent it. After doing a bit of digging, I’ve managed to find an e-mail for someone who deals with the red ribbons, so I’m emailing him/her now.

Damn, I sent the e-mail to Mark Longbottom, the address they gave me, but insted I got an auto-reply saying my e-mail had been forwarded to the guy I was in touch with before! How embarrassing!

lil blue meanie went to a Jazz Jam session today. Later, bigblue, cathy-mae and myself watched her play at a mini-concert. I didn’t do the Jazz Jam as this is my only free Sunday in November due to Cabaret rehersals. I did attend the last Jazz Jam, which lil blue meanie didn’t.

Managed to do a bit of catching up on the forums at Sam’s site. It’s so great to have an up-and-running computer again; after a few days of being off the net I was suffering withdrawl symptoms! But it’s great to be back and catch up with all my friends there.

Back to school tomorrow! I can’t believe a whole week of half-term has passed so quickly! My bag isn’t packed, and I haven’t done all my homework, so it’s fair to say I’m ready to return to normal school life, lol! Today I received a ‘phone call from my ex-school music teacher, who also runs the sax. group, to ask me to bring my sax to school tomorrow, as we’ve been asked to play in a week of assemblies. We’re going to be playing ‘What a Wonderful World’ in which I have the solo part, so I don’t know what I’m going to do since I haven’t played Alto Saxaphone in yonks! Maybe I’ll sing it…

The Golden Girls
Today saw the return of The Golden Girls to LivingTV after a bit of a gap in which they showed The Golden Palace. The Pilot Episode was shown, and I must admit it was great to see those opening credits again. Joni Mitchell is so wrong: in fact, you don’t know what you got ‘till it’s gone and then comes back. Welcome back, girls!

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